So it's 2004.
That always seemed so far away. I'm turning 17 this year. I remember thinking about being 16, 17. I thought 14 would be the best age ever. Then again, nothing is ever what I expect. I've given up on expecting. Hoping - that's okay, that's acceptable. But expectations? They're absolutely pointless, and have always set me up for a let down. I guess I'm just going to let life throw things at me, and be surprised, and see how it goes. On the other hand, I may end up hooked on crack and living in a box when this experiment is over.
Everyone has been reflecting a lot in their journals lately. I've just been doing a lot of reflecting period - it's what I do best. It's a great time occupier. But I have thought so much through lately, that I don't really want to write all of it out. I'm going to try something different...maybe just go through my year, month by month, and pick out a memory. This might not work. Did you ever notice, how when you have a picture of something, it becomes all you remember of wherever you are? So many memories are lost. I mean, I see a picture, and I can remember taking it, remember what was going on around me, the sounds, the people. But whenever I think of something - like a party or something - that picture slowly becomes my only recollection as time goes on. It's kind of sad. I bet I've lost a lot of memories, but maybe I'll be able to scrounge up something out of the ordinary to put in here. Maybe.
Okay, so I looked for what songs I downloaded in this month, and I found "Grey Street". Wooo I love this idea. The memories are coming back. I loved that song so much. January was a good month. It was the month where I found my friends. We had our first bball practice then, and I remember my sleepover afterward. I remember...knowing that these people would be my friends. We had so much fun. I remember going ice skating and sledding with Allissa, Erica, Brandy, and Emily. I remember driving around, because more and more people were starting to drive. I remember finding Breanne again, and going to see a play with her in Schereville. But mostly, I remember our basketball team. Our parties. Staying up late, goofing around. We had so much to talk about...none of us knew eachother. That was January.
Oh, I remember my February music. Total old school. I had a mad Paula Abdul craze that no one understood, and I found it so crazy that the song Bombs Over Baghdad was coming true. I remember bringing in my Paula Abdul CD and playing "Cold Hearted Snake" for my English class because I thought it showed what Cathy-Kate was like. Ughhh East of Eden. That must have been February. Every day, talking about the dance. It started off that all of the girls were going to go together in a big group, but slowly everyone got a date. Ugh the drama of the dances. Haha I remember Robby and Kayleen wanting me to ask Jagan - I was like, no way am I going with some kid I don't even know! I had never even talked to him. Every day, hearing about the dance. I remember going out with Danielle and Erica after the basketball game - probably my first trip to El Amigo, then going to Denny's and eating pie.
*Wow. This entry is going to be long. It's mostly for me to reminsce, but read on if you wish.
Man, what the heck happened in March? I wrote in my journal like once, and downloaded like 2 songs. But nonetheless, I remember - going to see Drumline at the movie theater. Completely random memory. With Matt, Erica, and Allissa. I went to Bomber for track - that was awesome. Seeing Chesterton, they did horribly I think, and having Racheal get all mad because we got 3rd. She told us we'd have to punish ourselves by running up this huge hill on a cooldown. She was the only one who did it. Someone stole Danielle's uniform. And I saw a bong for the first time. They were selling them at this store at IU. Spring break - I know I had a fun one. It was home, but it was beautiful. And I was really excited for track because I was working really hard. I think Jagan's party - the cake fight party - might have been in March.
Alright, it took a little searching, but I found some April memories. I think I was pretty busy with track. But I know this is around the time I met Lindsay, and we started doing our drivebys and stuff. I really liked the Sean Paul song, and I can remember driving in her car, with her and Kayleen, listening to it. Yes, a random flash. We had a party at Erica's house - for no reason - and me and Courtney made totally weird signs oompaloompas everywhere. I remember dancing a little, but the party really got started when we played truth or dare. Someone's question was, if you could be any type of cloud, what type would you be? I think Katie Scannell or Roc, Perrine's French friend, asked thate one. And Katie ended up calling some lady and saying she was from the American heart association. I called someone, and sang. It ended up being an old woman, and she said I had a beautiful voice. She was really nice. Courtney, Erica, and I watched the Avenging Disco Godfather the next day. It was horrible. One last thing - this was when I got frostbite on my leg. Ha. Yes. It can really happen...from an icepack.
Track got really bad in May. That made everything harder. I had my birthday party - but I don't know, I don't remember that as a great memory. I don't know why. I just remember being in a bad mood, because of my family, and I don't know, I just don't like throwing parties I guess. It was pretty funny seeing everyone get dressed up though. And Tim and Jagan's Mexican mustaches, having me slam open the pinata, and seeing Nazur show up against the will of his family/religion. From reading my journal...wow...I think I was a little emotional about getting my hair cut. But then again I think that was just everything else cumulating. Bleh. Seems like a bad month. But there were good parts. The Grand March, working that, and getting ready for it most importantly. Going shopping after school that day to Big Lots, and just seeing everyone all dressed up. We thought we got the shaft job, working the front doors, but that's where almost everyone came in.
June was probably my favorite month. June was fantastic. The last couple of days of school - I have so many pictures. Dressing up in Goodwill clothes for the last day of school, and having barely anyone notice, or care, because hey! It was the last day of school! Going to the beach...I don't know, it just felt so crazy and fun and independent. I remember going to Elise's the last day of school too, eating marshmallows, taking a walk to the schizophrenic lady's house. Having Tim walk up at the beach...wearing that...oh man, yes, definitely a highlight. Getting my license. Oh my Lordy. Getting my license. It was a long hard process, full of mistakes and failures, but I got it, and once I did, I was gone. I remember listening to Miss Independent a lot. The week I got my license, it was all over the radio. And it was so true. I remember in June how everything felt so perfect, and I made so many realizations about everything. June was indescribable. Maybe I'm making it more than it was. But looking back, June was perfect.
I'm going to start a new entry for the last 6 months. Which will be sad because people will read the last 6 months before the first six. Oh well.